ArchivedLogs:Fox and the Hound II - Local Jurisdiction

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Fox and the Hound II - Local Jurisdiction
Dramatis Personae

Tatters, Lily, Sheriff Jim, Deputy Craig

2013-06-10


They're just weather balloons. Mutant weather balloons.

Location

Nowhere, USA


"...so then Lily strangled him with her belt, then I sat on him until you guys showed up, and you know the rest."

"And your arm's all..." The police sergeant asked for the fourth time.

"Shredded, yes. It's fine. I'll fix it once we're done here."

"Because you punched the big spinny thing." The other cop was skinnier, and was smoking. He looked more skeptical.

"Yes."

"Speaking of, ah. Can we do anything about that thing? It's creepin' me out."

"Uh. Do you want to try giving it a push?" Jill eyed the Big Spinny Thing suspiciously and twitched her armstump, the tattered remains of her sleeve flapping about in the breeze.

"Hahh no." The skinny cop didn't look amused, but the first one chuckled throatily.

"Maybe we could use some electro-magnets or somethin."

"That'll need a big-ass magnet, Jim."

"A big ass-magnet?" Jill muttered, mostly to herself. Lily gave her a look.

"Well, the Feds'll know what to do when they get here."

"Ugh."

"'cuse me?"

"Sorry, I've bumped into the Government's Mutant Squad before, they're kinda creeps."

"Oh, don't we know it. We see lights in the sky sometimes out west, folks think they've got some Area 51 shit goin' on. But you don't ask questions about that shit, better that the Gov'ment don't notice you."

"Um. Aren't you guys the..."

"Oh, fuck no. I'm just a small town sheriff, there's a world of difference."

"We're Libertarians."

"You're Libertarian cops."

"You got it."

"Making sure to hold onto your guns for when The Man and his army of mutants comes for you?"

"See, Craig? This girl knows what's up."

"Uh huh."

"See, we disagree about registration, though. Craig thinks we don't want the Gov'ment knowing too much about all of you, 'cause they'll do shit like Liberty Island. 'Sic their pet freaks on a whole bunch of diplomats and take over the world, you know. But I think we gotta worry about the small picture too, think you oughta have to go to your neighbors and tell 'em and shit, like sex offenders."

"Really."

"So we think it should be left up to the local jurisdiction. It's up to communities to keep themselves safe."

"Except when you need someone to cart away a big spinny thing."

"Yeah."