ArchivedLogs:Fearful First Encounter

Fearful First Encounter
Dramatis Personae Faelan, Mariot	2013-04-12 Mariot's first encounter with a student revolves around Faelan's fears, and the new arrivals efforts to assuage them. Welcome to a new life as a teacher....
Location <XS> Library
With the weather of New York being cold, damp and unpleasant, students were cramming into wherever was warm, dry and vaguely sociable. Still with classes going, there was only so many places that homework and studying could get done if you didn't want to do it in your room. As such the noise levels were at a constant murmer, perhaps more so than a regular library, but with the quiet rooms easily accessible it wasn't as big a problem. Scuffing along through the populace, Faelan moved carefully so he wouldn't get bumped into too much. Having finished the book he had gotten out, he had been coming back to swap for another, and had a survival guide clutched to his chest. His nice warm Xavier Institute hoodie was huge and draped over him, and his pants that scuffed along the ground had achieved the proper hole signifying its general being stepped on state. Though she'd probably stand out quite a lot in most schools, at Xavier's a toned and pretty woman slipping into the library might well go comparatively unremarked - the Academy does, after all, seem to favour youth and beauty when recruiting its staff - but this particular example of the trend looks rather as if she's still taking in her surroundings. She pauses near the door, running her gaze over not just the murmuring students but also the library itself. Glancing over another new person at the school, Faelan watched a moment, not in the way of one looking over a lady, but as if wondering if this person was dangerous to him. He didn't have much way to know one way or another, but at least he had been paying attention. Stopping at the counter, he placed the book on it to be checked in, and did his best to be out of the way as he looked over now and then. Mariot makes her own way over to the counter, offering the librarian and the student a smile, but seemingly content to wait her turn.... As the lady smiled to him, Faelan tipped his head down to look at the floor, feeling like he was caught in the act. "Erm, hello." He just seemed nervous over all like he didn't want to be out in public. "I'll get out of the way," he murmered again as he slid off to the side. The newcomer blinks, then offers the youngster an apologetic smile. "I'm quite willing to wait", she says softly, her accent educated and decidedly trans-Atlantic. "I'm just here to set up my own library ID." "Set up your id? Oh, you must be new here then," Faelan nodded as he took the logical step. "They do it pretty quick, I think its just tied to the rest of the id's that they give you though." He thought abit then shook his head, "It may already work then at least. Its all computerized now. Lotsa things here are." He pointed over towards the computer room at that statement. "I'm told it should all be in order, yes", the stranger agrees, smiling once more, "but I still like to get my hands on things before relying on them working." "Oh, alright then. Um, well I'm Faelan then," he said as he put his hands into his hoodie pockets, not really knowing what to do. "They have lots of books here at least, but some of the fancier stuff gets taken out by the really brainy students. It may be easier to use a computer." He nodded again, then glanced out through the library to make sure he wasn't going to get runover by one of the aformentioned students. "Is there something wrong? Or is talking to a teacher simply not the done thing?", the woman asks. "I'm Mariot Gall. I'll be teaching a number of classes around history and ethics. Perhaps some of the extra-curricular options, too." "Erm, well if you're a teacher you'll probably see my records anyway. I don't do well with people." Faelan seemed a little embarassed telling her, but well she could have seen his file anytime she wanted. "I'm trying though, if they ask at least." He sighed and shook his head again. "Well, I don't want to make you uncomfortable", Mariot says gently. "Especially not as a just-arrived outsider here, myself. I need all the good will I can get." Shaking his head vigorously no, Faelan looked back to her. "Its not you. Its everyone. My therapist said I needed to be more trusting of the other people at the institute and get out into public situations more. Its just scary." It seemed parroting his instructions was easier than other social matters. "So I come to the library to get my book instead of staying in my room." Mariot offers a sympathetic smile. "I know that you probably won't believe it, but I can sympathise with that", she says gently. "I spent quite some time... avoiding people, in the recent past. They can be astonishingly terrifying." Faelan looked at her again at that, not having heard too many people echo his statements before. "Why would you have to avoid anyone though? Or did mutant hunters come and find you?" He didn't know anything about her, or her powers, but she seemed fairly normal as far as he could see. "I was... caught up in some rather unpleasant events", Mariot answers carefully, her smile turning distinctly rueful. "I managed to persuade myself that I should neither trust people, nor trust myself to look after them. As a result, I had a whole host of wonderfully +logical+ reasons for turning myself into a terrified recluse." "Its much safer. You don't have to worry about anyone hurting you if nobody is around," Faelan responded seriously. "Then it doesn't matter what your powers are, or that you aren't popular, or any other thing that they can hate or hurt you about." Nodding again, he smiled softly at that. "At least my powers can give me that." Mariot chuckles softly, though her expression remains gentle and sympathetic. "Paranoia is by definition a +reasoned+ fear of persecution by others. Unreasoned, wholly irrational, fears are phobias - but paranoia sinks its claws into you by providing a framework that, in its own terms, makes sense. It's a trap, however. A seductive one, because it provides a filter through which to view and interact with the world... but it's something that cuts you off and keeps you in a state of fear even when there's no need for it. And it goes hand in glove with depression - the two are made for each other." Sighing, Faelan deflated abit and frowned. "I know, thats what they've been telling me for years. I'm doing better though at least." He seemed frustrated though. "Its hard though, and they say that its reinforced by my having an easy out of the situations I am most afraid of. Running and hiding is so much easier than taking another beating." "I'm not in favour of taking beatings", Mariot says dryly. "Character-building via abuse isn't exactly something I'd advocate. But... breaking even a small hole in the wall can be hard, I know. And the mere prospect of it can be outright terrifying, too. But it's worth the risk, I think." "Maybe. Some people are still pretty scary though, even if not dangerous to me," Faelan said with a sigh. Still though, talking about being afraid wasn't helping, so he went to another topic to avoid the continued fear. "What do you teach here? I mean, this place isn't really normal. We have classes on fighting here and psionic defense down the hall from math." He was slightly amused by the oddity at least. Mariot chuckles as she quirks another swift smile. "Formally? History, for the most part, though I'm likely to branch out a certain amount. Likely to dabble in ethics, and probably provide some tuition in physical pursuits as well. Though I'm still +very+ new here, and am... trying to adjust to the many differences in education on this side of the Pond." "Yeah, they really make sure that we all take the ethics courses here. That just because we have more powers than a normal human doesn't make us any different, and that it doesn't matter how powerful of a mutation we have we are all mutants together." Faelan again was probably paraphrasing from the courses at least. "Though some of the more combative teaching says that reacting quickly and reflexively might be the different between survival and death." He sighed and shook his head. "Its hard to worry about ethics and survival at the same time." "That's arguably the point when one most needs to", Mariot says, glancing to the librarian who is now putting the finishing touches to her library card. "To only retain an ethical stance when it is easy or irrelevant is to rather miss the point. Morality that fails as soon as it is tested is not actually moral: it's a simple pretence, for the benefit of oneself and others. To abandon it is to let others provide definitions for our life, to determine how we will act. To enslave our thoughts as well as our deeds. If +other+ people can make us change our minds out of fear, then are they really our thoughts and our choices at all?" Accepting the card, she smiles once more, then looks back to Faelan, cracking a swift, wry grin. "Or that's one stance, at least. Myself, I prefer to exercise my freedom to be ornery, and refuse to let other people's decision to be unpleasant dictate how I think and feel and act." "If you say so ma'am." Faelan was watching her talk, but most of the words just went in one ear and out the other. "I think I should go get my book now if I'm going to have a chance to read it before the weekend comes." Smiling to her, or at least giving the attempt at one, he looked over to the book shelves. "I hope the library has what you were looking for at least." Nodding at that, he started towards the shelves. Mariot manages to suppress a sigh, instead offering Faelan a simple "Good bye", before nodding to the librarian turning to head back out. Properly exploring the library can wait for a point when it's rather less... overrun.