Logs:Cast all your anxiety on him, because he cares for you.

Cast all your anxiety on him, because he cares for you.
cn: explicit sexual content, dissociation during sex, discussion of past csa & kidnapping
Dramatis Personae Kitty, Leo	2023-05-30 (later in the evening from pool time.)
Location <NYC> Honeymoon Suite - Le Bonne Entente - Astoria - Queens
This luxurious suite spans the fourth and fifth floors at the tip of the building's south wing. Gold-veined white marble columns, arches, counters, and accents make a striking backdrop for the plush red velvet furnishings and gold appliances. The first floor has a partially open floor plan that favors half-walls and glass where divisions are necessary. A private concierge accessed via sleek touch-screen panels in each of the rooms, as well as by the charmingly self-aware antique telephone sitting beside the master bed upstairs, offers a wide range of services, including operation of the power suppression grid installed throughout. The entryway opens onto the expansive living room which meanders in one direction into the kitchen and the dining room in another, rejoining beyond these in a solarium spanning both floors. On one side, a spiral stair winds up around a cylindrical glass elevator, and on the other side stands a slightly elevated plunge pool fed by a waterfall that cascades down from the second floor. Beyond the solarium glass, a lush garden terrace affords an unobstructed view of the park, the river, and the Manhattan skyline beyond framed by the bridges. The second level is more conventionally laid out, beyond the balcony of the solarium. The sumptuous master suite offers a range of comfortable multi-purpose furniture besides the massive bed, and adjoins a rambling spa bathroom with a soaking tub almost a pool in its own right, a claw-foot tub in its own vine-wreathed nook, a huge rainwater shower, and both dry and wet saunas. There is also an office with state-of-the-art video conferencing hardware, a reading room that could almost qualify as a library, and an entire second bedroom suite. Leo is still holding on to an elegant black gift bag as he pushes open the door to the suite -- holds it for Kitty before wandering further in. The gold ribbon that had adorned it has been removed at some point and tied, loosely, around his neck, though it doesn't quite jive with his outfit -- a sleek white suit in silk linen with picked stitching over a vest in layers of watery blue and green silk organza, embroidered with openwork butterflies that give shadowy depths of color, the Mandarin shirt underneath light and almost gauzy with a silvery sheen to match his brogues and the band on his white straw gambler hat, from which sprout graceful sea green butterfly wings veined in silver. "Do you know," he's looking from the very fancy samples of lotion and scrub in the bag, up to Kitty, wide-eyed, "they will send their spa -- people. Here. To your room. Private spa-ing." He is setting his hat and the bag aside on a living room counter as he turns back to his girlfriend. Whatever he was going to say next melts away into a soft smile, a faint flush creeping up his cheeks. What was he about to say? What comes out, instead, quiet: "-- thank you." This costume doesn't quite fit anymore: around the chest of the short bodice, new glittering jewels line where the rubbing was taken out to accommodate a built in bra form, the hooks and eyes up the back only barely betraying the additional piece of fabric there. But it still shines: glittering sequins along the pale teal bodice, sewn in costume jewels long romantic tulle skirt, and shimmering sea-green opalescent wings, catch the light here as well as it did downstairs. Dark patches of green down the sides of the skirt match the leafy embroidery at the waist as well as the foresty wreath-like headband holding Kitty's curls out of her face. Under all the tulle, there pale pink low pumps with satin ribbons attached to the arches, neatly tied together and tucked under itself above Kitty's ankle in proper dancer fashion. Some faint glitter dusted across her face as well, the most obvious makeup in her otherwise 'natural' look. Did Kitty win Instagram tonight? Her phone in her goodie bag keeps lighting up with that pink-square notification, so probably someone out there is, at least, excitedly recognizing her Giselle costume. She's not looking at her phone though, just peering into her black bag -- "This candle," she is announcing, "is huge. What that is ridiculous --" this seems to be about private spas, now, while she sets her things down, "-- everything about this place is absurd I never want to leave." Maybe-maybe the bright easy smile lighting up Kitty's face is from the Fancy nonsense of the hotel, maybe that pink flush across her cheeks is the glow from the drink pairings down at the whimsical restaurant. It doesn't deepen when she looks up at Leo, yet, but something softens even more in her expression. "For what?" A touch confused, this. Kitty steps in towards Leo, reaches her arms up and around to cross loosely behind his neck as she looks up at him. "You plan all the excellent dates-to-end-all-dates. I just come along for the ride." Leo's arms curl down, around Kitty's shoulders. "You come along for the ride." His voice is soft, here. He bows his head, resting his forehead lightly against Kitty's. "It has not exactly been smooth sailing. "A year and a half before I even could -- would -- be seen in public with you, and it -- I have wanted to. Give you so many excellent dates." His fingers are trailing gently against her back. He's glancing briefly back -- towards the solarium and the waterfall cascading down into its pool -- and a small amused smile flits across his face. "Maybe one day. Maybe. I will get away from the Water Theme on these dates-to-end-all-dates." Probably this is a lie. He has a brand and he is sticking to it. "It's been so worth the wait. I like the theme." Kitty's affirmations are simple and soft, her fingers playing lightly with the ribbon around Leo's neck, working the bow towards her fingers to untie it. "I like being with you. I like being --" the pause here is very brief, as easily her own hesitation over her words as it could be the shiver Leo is coaxing from her with those gentle touches, "-- seen with you, yes, but I also --" This pause is more deliberate as she works the knot loose and winds the ends of the ribbon around her hands. Pulls down just a little, just enough gentle pressure to tug his face closer to hers as she pushes up onto her toes. Kitty's lips are just a breath away from his when she continues, "-- really like having you all to myself." Leo closes this distance wordlessly, just a soft hum pleased in his chest as his lips press to Kitty's. Gentle -- and then less so, leaning hard into the contact as he pulls her tighter against him. "You have me," he murmurs when he breaks away, hands sliding down to rest at her hips. "Just us," though here, gently steering her back against the wall, hand braced against a currently-blank touch screen panel, he cannot stifle a small huff of laughter before adding: "-- and our round-the-clock butler, apparently. I am slightly worried" (not enough worried to stop the kisses pressed down against her throat, though) "if I touch the wrong thing suddenly some Jeeves will be quietly clearing his throat beside us." "Mmhmm." Is Kitty worried? She tilts her head up, baring her neck to Leo's ministrations. "Don't touch the wrong thing then, touch me." There is a hunger in her voice as she presses up into Leo with a roll of her hips. The ribbon floats to the floor, forgotten, as Kitty curls her hands into -- then into -- the gauzy fabric of Leo's vest. Lets go with a gasp as Leo kisses her neck just so, head rolling back to knock against the wall. "-- Maybe," comes breathless and wanting and sheepish all at once, "maybe we ask Jeeves now?" Kitty's blushing fiercely as she asks but her hands are wandering freely, feeling for the waist of Leo's trousers and running her fingertips just along that line. "To turn on -- you know." Leo is readily obliging at this request -- hands straying lower, pushing the gauzy skirt up around Kitty's hips. One hand slips up against her thigh, running slow between her legs. "I thought we were well on the way to Turned On already." Another quick kiss and he's somewhat reluctantly partially disentangling himself from this embrace to pat uncertainly at the panel. Inform it a bit skeptically: "We would like to stop being mutants, now." A pause. "Please." Kitty laugh-gasps at the pun and at that touch along her inner thigh, her fingertips pressing hard into Leo's waist and then suddenly not pressing at all, the extent of her fingers into his flesh a phantom chill there. "You are a tease." She drops her hands with a flush -- drops tangibility, too, as Leo talks to the panel, and spins out of the embrace entirely with a quick peck at Leo's cheek. When Leo turns to face her again, Kitty has unhooked the skirt from the bodice of her costume, holding it in place just with the press of her hands where she is waiting at the bottom of the stairs. Her smile is warm and just a touch mischievous when she catches his eye again -- and drops the skirt to the floor. "I'm a tease." Leo's face is flushed but his smile is warm, fingers brushing up now through Kitty's thigh. Over the intercom he has lost much of his habitual fluster, explaining polite and direct that they would like the suppression grid turned on, thank-you. He has looked slightly braced for this -- and relaxes, a little uncertainly, when nothing immediately happens. The intercom shuts off. He frowns at it. "... maybe it is broken," sounds distinctly disappointed, until a pleasant prerecorded voice announces that the suppression field will be turning on in five minutes. Helpfully, the panel has now lit up with a countdown to this effect. His blush is in full force when he looks back to Kitty, follows her to the base of the stairs. He holds his hand out toward her, stepping up onto the stairs. Then stopping. "Five minutes," he laments, "is basically forever. We could be very deep into -- Mutanting. By then." "Oh no," Kitty says, her face schooled into seriousness for all of one second before giggles bubble out of her. "We gotta get all our mutanting done in just five minutes?" She takes Leo's hand -- darts ahead of him to pull him up those stairs, then just up as her own steps fall out of sync with where the floor is. Maybe she should have left the skirt on for that Ethereal Ghost Woman floating look the costume was made for. Maybe leaving it on the ground there is more efficient -- Kitty seems pretty preoccupied with getting Leo out of his clothing when they come to rest on the landing. She pulls him against her body again when they're solid, kissing him fiercely while one hand twists into his suit jacket. Wait, what suit jacket? Kitty pulls it through Leo and tosses it onto the floor. Her hands are wandering, now, to the front of Leo's trousers. "You will have to mutant extra hard," Leo is saying, "because nobody wants me to cram all my mutanting in --" But now he's getting pulled up, floating up, shivering and not just with the brief ghostly chill as his jacket is pulled through him. "Oh." He kisses Kitty back, hard and deep, hands running back down her body. The bodice of the costume he unstays with relative facility, letting it -- half-fall, catch pressed between them until he tugs it away to the ground. With the tights he has less delicacy, starting to ease them down before eagerness leads to pushing more carelessly with an abrupt tear of delicate fabric. "-- sorry," small and apprehensive. Kind of mumbled, because has he stopped kissing her? He definitely has not. "I can mutant so hard." This, too, is mumbled against Leo's lips as Kitty works -- undoing Leo's fly while lightly impeded by her own bodice, trying to get around that sturdy piece until Leo tugs it away. Pushes down the suit trousers the normal way, slipping a hand past the waistband of his underwear the normal way -- pauses and laughs, warm, at that tear in her tights. "They're Blochs, don't worry about it." Does that mean anything to Leo? Should it? Kitty is pulling the tights off the mutant way, though, with a quick flick of her wrist to send them in a pale pink heap to the floor along with her underwear. Maybe she should be moving them towards a bed? Kitty pulls them both until her back knocks up against -- some wall, anyway. Maybe a door. Maybe even the right door! She's not checking. "Only for --" Leo's hand is running up Kitty's leg, with the tights gone, squeezing firmly at her ass as he pulls her closer against him. He glances past her to the wall they have hit up against -- the panel on it -- and groans as he shakes his trousers free where they've pooled around his ankles. "Two more minutes, this hotel must be slowing time." His erection presses hard into Kitty's hand with the slow roll of his hips. "I --" His touch until now has been sure, has been confident, but his voice absolutely abruptly isn't, kind of awkward-uncertain. "... have condoms, if -- we -- should we." Now the dip of his head and wrinkle of his brow suggests he has a dawning suspicion he might be being A Little Silly. "For. Being. Safe." Kitty's hand squeezes, too, lightly, not quite stroking the length of Leo's erection but just wrapping her fingers loosely around the width. Her breathing comes quicker when he squeezes. "Two -- minutes -- should find the --" Bed? Bedroom? Kitty works her hand reluctantly free of Leo's underwear -- removes that, too, while she's at it and has her powers to do so. "I'm on the pill," she reminds her boyfriend, "so -- do you prefer condoms I don't --" There's a hesitation here that's not all distraction, a flush of red in her cheeks that's not just arousal. "I haven't, um, needed them in a while, doesn't it feel, better? Without?" There's a door behind her! Kitty tugs Leo through it -- maybe the brief second where the door is between them is enough to mask the slight anxiousness in her expression. "I want to make you feel as good as you've been making me feel." Leo's flush is mostly just arousal, head rolling back as Kitty's hand squeezes down against him. "Yes --" It's not entirely clear which part of this he is saying yes to, a little breathless, a little distracted. He's taking a deep breath to collect himself as he's pulled through the door. "Right -- no. No, I mean yes, I mean it does. I haven't -- done this since. Before... well. Since I still had to worry about -- that." His hand is trailing slower now. Gentle, light, down the outside of Kitty's thigh and up the inside. "I didn't know what you would be comfortable -- with. Are you?" Is anxiety contagious? Leo makes up for not getting Any Other Illnesses by taking double damage from this one. "-- comfortable? I want --" Want what? Want her is currently taking priority again, as he pulls her back in for another deep kiss. Maybe humming her assent into kissing is not, in fact, the clearest informed consent. "If I'm not worried about accidentally exploding your --" Kitty looks down at the organ in question, winces, "-- that's already miles more comfortable than I usually am, I just -- I've been like this since I was a kid, there's no -- before, for me, I --" She shakes her head -- realizes the headband is still in her hair and tosses it away. "I want to feel you," is a little shy, but the roll of her hips into his touch between her legs is anything but. Kitty leads Leo to the bed, pulls him down atop her. "I want this. I want --" this with a tilt of her head sideways on the bedspread, squinting at the nearest panel through her curls, "-- you, inside me, in approximately forty five seconds." "-- ohyes no, I would like exactly zero parts of sex to resemble anything in The Boys." Despite his vague amusement Leo has winced inadvertently winced at the thought of Bits Exploding. He nuzzles down against Kitty's neck, presses kisses slowly down her throat, down her chest, breath warm against her skin before his lips close around one nipple. His tongue flicks lightly against it, and there's a lingering glimmer of laughter in his eyes as he looks back up toward her. "How close to exact do I need to be. Should I start a countdown." He is stretching up away from her just long enough to reach to the nightstand beside the bed, a small black travel-toiletries case stashed there. He leaves the condoms! But takes out a small pump-bottle of lube. "This will I hope be less fiery than a rocket launch." He's made his expression so very serious now as his mouth returns to Kitty's chest, tongue oh-so-very light in the circle it traces around her areola. "... twenty." "Very precise. To the millisecond," is probably not that serious, but how much of this banter has been? It's also extremely distracted, Kitty's voice breathy between little gasps, the pleasant voice overhead calling the thirty second mark well ignored in favor of arching into the warmth of Leo's mouth at her breast. "I -- like rocket launches, ohthat feels so good --" Her hands grasp at the neat bedspread underneath them, get far too quantumly entangled with the fabric for a moment before she lifts her hands back up to run fingers through Leo's dark hair instead. Her shoes fall through-off her feet, get solidly kicked to the floor with no finesse. She parts her legs, some small nervousness in her expression when she looks back up at her lover, faint under all the blown-wide desire in her eyes. "T minus -- Five. Four. Three. Kiss me." Leo has pumped some of the lube into a palm, slicking himself and then running fingers down between Kitty's legs. "Two," he breathes out, warm with desire and laughter both as his mouth leaves her breast. Finds her lips, shed of the ferocity of his earlier kisses but deep, now. The hand not slick with lube runs slowly up Kitty's chest, thumb brushing over her nipple as he slides in -- slow, careful, and yet still nearly undoing him with the feel of her warm around him. His breath has caught, let out only when his mouth breaks from hers, when he whispers a soft "-- I love you," in her ear, hips beginning to rock in long and gentle strokes. Kitty gasps -- slightly pained, even with the lube easing Leo's way into her, even with all the care he takes pushing forward -- into that deep kiss. "--love you," she whispers back, rolling her hips up to take him deeper. Twists her hands into the fabric of his shirt and tugs, once, twice -- coaxing Leo to go faster, maybe? Her hands drop away a stroke later, eyes going wide when this angle, as she rocks up into him, feels heavenly. It's not totally apparent when she stops trying to meet Leo's rhythm with her own body, when the grip she has on the bedsheets goes slack. When she turns her face to the side, it's with a small moan that's definitely pleasure -- Kitty just doesn't turn her face back to look up at her boyfriend. Stares out instead into the opulent room, eyes distant and a touch glassy. Leo nuzzles in against Kitty's neck, his own moan low against her skin. The rock of his body against hers does speed, at that tugging, not hard but firmer. A small smile curls at his lips when her eyes widen. "Like that?" He's holding that angle, as best he can, anyway, with the ecstatic shudder running through him. His hand slides down her side, squeezes down against the swell of her ass, and for a moment he's just lost in the feeling -- -- for a moment. He's slowing when no answer comes, pulling back to look down with a small furrow in his brow that grows deeper when Kitty does not look back at him. This time, the kiss he gives is just a small thing -- light, dotted against the side of her cheek. "Kitty? Mahal?" He is not entirely pulling out but he is slowing, drawing cautiously back. "Is this -- not --" he starts, then tries again: "Are you fine?" Maybe there was a small nod, somewhere, at Leo's last question, at this question. "It's good," is also small, the breathiness in this declaration not sounding much like arousal any more. "This feels -- please keep going." With some effort Kitty turns her face back up, the smile there familiar to Leo from a confrontation earlier today: placating, fixed, a mask over something else entirely. "-- I'm fine," she insists again, but there is still that glassy, faraway look in her eyes. She's not making eye contact with Leo, gaze fixed at a point somewhere just about his ear. Repeats, just a touch distantly: "Please. Keep going." "Fine," Leo echoes very dubiously, studying Kitty's glassy expression. He does not keep going. He lifts a hand toward her cheek but then drops it, pulls back, pulls out. His face is still flushed, his breathing harder -- he's trying to steady his breaths as he rests his hand on the mattress, propping himself up and away from Kitty. "This does not -- look like fine. Please talk to me?" It's not for a few moments after Leo pulls out that Kitty's expression shifts -- relief, first, sinking just a little bit more into the bed, then panic. "--no I can, I can do this I want to do this I --" She's breathing hard when she props herself up on one elbow, closing some of that new distance between her and her boyfriend. Kitty reaches out again for Leo's shirt and tugs hard on the fabric -- it's staying stubbornly in place. "Can you -- can you take this off I -- the suppression, I can't --" She drops her hand. Drops her elbow too, staring at the rooms high ceiling. " ... I've never been suppressed before," comes after a lengthy pause. "Do you not feel -- trapped. With it on." The worried frown is staying very firmly etched into Leo's brows at Kitty's panicked insistence. "Never?" is what comes out first, automatic and kind of surprised. His actual answer takes longer to come, a stretch of consideration before his jumble of thoughts settle themselves into words. "I think for me that is -- complicated. My powers feel -- already like a prison." There's a quiet matter-of-factness to this statement. "I feel trapped most places. But not with you." Though he's unbuttoning his vest, then shirt, with one hand, it's an unhurried motion and he's also rolling off of Kitty. Lying on the mattress beside her and just curling his arm gently around her shoulders. "Do you want the suppression off? It turns off. We don't have to do -- this. Don't have to do anything. That you don't -- I don't want to be trapping you." "Not like this." Kitty rolls onto her side and tucks herself against Leo, presses a hand to his bare chest. "You're not trapping me, I want to be able to do this, I do want to have sex with you, so badly. I just --" Her fingers press into Leo's skin, a shiver going through her body. "...I was -- I was kidnapped, when I was little. A lot of -- really scary things happened and some of them -- one of them -- I think makes it hard to feel. Safe. With this kind of sex. Without my gift." There are tears gathering at the bottom of Kitty's eyes. Her voice is very, very quiet. "I can -- I have gotten through the flashbacks without -- exploding my partner before I just -- that was the only other time I couldn't. Leave. During. I thought I was ready I'm sorry." Leo's eyes are growing incrementally wider as Kitty speaks -- at when I was little, at one of them, at the choppiness of her final words, his fingers are squeezing slowly against her shoulder. His jaw has tightened, and he deliberately relaxes this as well as his hand, rubbing in gentle circles at his girlfriend's back. "You don't have to be sorry," he says, firm, after a pause. "And you don't have to be ready. That is horrible, that someone would have -- done that, have hurt you like that, you --" He takes a slow breath. Nods -- to Kitty? To himself? He's briefly looked away toward the ceiling as he thinks this over but is looking back to Kitty, now. "I want you to feel safe, here. Comfortable, here. Good, here, yes? If you want this we can try -- to figure out what would make it feel safe for you. But it doesn't have to be right now." Kitty is tensing, again, under that curl of fingers against her shoulders. Doesn't relax when Leo does, but does wrap her arm more fully across his chest. "Where is here? Like, if here is 'with you', then, of course I feel safe. I know you wouldn't --" She swallows, changes tact. "Here like, in this hotel? I don't know, maybe I would have been fine if I hadn't seen Dad earlier, but I did and it just brings back -- all of this, every time he's around." Most of this is addressed more-or-less at Leo's chest, Kitty not yet looking up. "Here, in the grid? It makes sex for us safer but --" Kitty rubs at her damp eyes with her free hand. "-- I know most people don't think of their mutation as a gift but mine is. It keeps me safe. I -- don't know how to feel safe without it." Now she looks up, meeting Leo's gaze with bright eyes and a determined expression. "I'll figure it out. Maybe," and this is only a little shy, "we can try again? Later?" "Your dad brought back -- was he the one who --" Leo's hand doesn't squeeze down at Kitty again, but he's gone very, very still, muscles tense against her side. Another slow breath in, another slow breath out. "I am sorry. I cannot imagine." He isn't having much success with relaxing, but he does return Kitty's look with a very small attempt at a smile. "There are multiple beds, an entire sauna, and a waterfall pool here. I am sure that later we can find our way to some fun." "-- no oh my God no he wasn't -- it's -- complicated, but, that wasn't him." Kitty presses the knuckles of her other hand to her lips, brow creased with frustration. "I'm sorry, this isn't how I wanted to explain, I'm not saying any of this right, I shouldn't have mentioned -- he's already spoiled enough of today and today has been so wonderful." The arm that's wrapped around Leo pulls back so Kitty can lift her fingertips to slowly trace the edge of her boyfriend's tensed jaw. Something tense is softening in her expression. "...Can still be wonderful. You're still here with me --" and here her tone begins to lift, not quite yet the easy silly teasing of earlier but maybe, with a little more time, it could be again, "-- and checkout isn't for hours."